1. She doesn't sleep enough.
2. When I carry her, she always looks for, finds, and tries to tear off the ugly, hangy mole on the back of my arm.
3. When she is finished eating, she bats spoonfuls of baby food away from her, slinging sweet potatoes on the wall, the cat, and her father.
4. Since learning to crawl she is constantly on the hunt for objects dangerous, gross, and/or inedible to gum.
5. While nursing, she pinches the side of my breast, catching tiny little folds of skin between her thumb and pointer finger and producing a sensation almost as pleasant as bamboo under fingernails.
6. At the same time, she plants both feet on my belly and bounces herself on my gut, thereby socking me in the stomach and wrenching my nipple upward every time she bounces.
7. She ruins more outfits with her man-sized poops than I have Dreft to rescue them.
8. If I'm sitting on the floor with her and simultaneously trying to do anything else (like, oh, I don't know...work on the computer, not that I do THAT all that often) she will hang on/climb on me relentlessly, grabbing onto my hair to restore her balance if she stumbles.
9. She wants the paci, she doesn't want the paci, she wants the paci, she doesn't want the paci.
10. And...she doesn't sleep enough.