Sunday, August 3, 2008

A poem, by Mean Mommy

I just took a look at Google Analytics (which I never do, cause I totally don't care how many readers I have) and decided to check out which keyword searches have lead internetters to Mean Mommy. And reading through these keywords, I realized they tell the story of my life, in a vaguely poetic, essential kind of way.

So today, I thought I'd share my life...in a poem:

My Life in Keywords*

do you know the mommy game?

accidentally put baby's head in ceiling fan
baby fell and hit cheek
3 month old baby falls on tile floor
feeling guilty toddler bruise

nasty mean mommy

how well you know the mommy
20 and have gray hairs
crazy requests at McDonalds
italian bon bons

wild, mean and squeaky clean

outgrowing a mullet
waking to a bat in my room
losing teeth in my dreams

why are mothers so mean?
my children are driving me crazy

(*yes, these are actual keyword searches that have lead readers here. Blush.)

11 comments:

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

This is great - better than Haiku!

Ginny said...

This is very funny, love the why are mothers so mean, that was probably my mom, lol. (she thinks any mom that disciplines their kid is horrible)

I have dreams about my teeth falling out, that is so funny that is one of your searches.

I barely get any funny ones when I check mine, I need to write more variety or something :)

womaninawindow said...

HA! and a litte scary that people are looking for this. You've just stumbled upon it. OH, and look, it's you!

Melisa@andbabywillmake4 said...

Oh those are classic...

MadMad said...

OK - that is the best use of keyword searches I have ever seen! And yours are way better than mine, which always STILL seem to involve plumbers... I don't know what is up with that...

cbh said...

hmmm... i understand how most of them lead your readers to your blog except for: wild, mean and squeaky clean???

GRAY MATTER MATTERS said...

Key Word: Genius.

Fantastic!

Lex the mom said...

Wickedly funny! I might have to google an odd statement that'll hit here, just so you'll write another.

Threeundertwo said...

That is just hilarious! I think you can start a trend. May I use this idea and credit you? I get all kinds of crazy keyword searches and I don't know what to do with them.

Heart Felt said...

That is hilarious, very clever! xx from New Zealand.

Anonymous said...

What is so funny for me is that I JUST found this blog yesterday -- by searching "baby fall face bruise" (which led me to a Jan post that had me laughing out loud) My search would have fit nicely in your poem, I think :)
And no, I'm not going to reveal the story behind my search -- let's just say I could have my own "Mean Mommy" blog!