It's a rite a of passage for any serious blogger, and now it is time for my initiation. Today I present to you the best of the Google searches that have led wayward visitors to my blog:
1. "Maturity clothes"
Maturity clothes include business suits, pencil skirts, high heels, and anything in houndstooth.
2. "My son is driving me crazy"
3. "Nurses with stinky feet"
Don't you HATE that? I hate that.
4. "One year old who eats lint"
Oh dear, you must be a first time mom. Don't worry unless the "lint" comes from the litter box.
5. "Smack bottom hard children"
What? How in the world did that search lead HERE? Ludicrous.
6. "What are persons idiosyncrasies mean?"
Well, if a person's idiosyncrasies include the inability to form a marginally coherent sentence, they mean "stay in school."
7. "What do 5 entwined circles mean?"
That means "Olympics."
8. "What should I be teaching my 7 month old?"
- Toilets are not fun, fun playtime
- Your brothers love you even when they sit on your head
- Cheerios found under the refrigerator are not for eating
- Sleeping through the night = nice mommy; Waking up every 3 hours = red-eyed-hanging-on-by-a thread mommy
- Mommy only takes these little pills when things get really really nutty. And don't mention them to daddy.
I can't really explain it, but I can tell you that asking this question probably means you were never loved as a child.
10. "Why is mommy so mean for reals?"
You try budget grocery shopping with 3 kids on 2 hours of sleep while the "Backyardigans" theme song loops endlessly through your head.